I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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