over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
