If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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