dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
