the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
