we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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