its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
