When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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