how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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