when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
