What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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