If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
