Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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