what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
