Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
