More tranny stories later!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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