He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize