I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize