absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
