Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
