your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize