My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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