No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We just shotgunned beers for America
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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