Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Are we still banned from the library?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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