I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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