so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize