I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
