i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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