i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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