hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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