i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
