I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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