Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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