I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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