You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
