I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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