I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
