dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
