Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
