I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
