Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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