I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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