They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
