I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
