My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
