She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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