That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
