well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
