I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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