Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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