I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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