bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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