Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
the condom got lost in my hair
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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