Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
