I don't think brook has ever known best
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize