Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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