There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
