Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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