This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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