plz talk dirty to me
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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