we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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