1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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