Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My ATM looks so different sober.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
