Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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