Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
