I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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