there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
