so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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