elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
